||[Mar. 13th, 2008|06:59 pm]
first time ive used this in forever only to find she who shall remain nameless was still in my friends listing! ah shit! delete! de-lete! DELETE!! dont need to know whats going on there. dont know dont care dont need to know... ostrich with my head in the sand, blissfully ignorant for once. slowly im regaining what was rightfully mine to begin with. my life. my soul. a shred of fucking dignity. im single once more and (hating?) (loving?) coping with it. my life has returned to a very simple one. but im right back where i started when i got here. havent been myself for nearly 2 years and now im having to rememeber it all. funny how the survival instincts from college are serving me well again now. i can lose myself at work for the most part... save for the fuckass customers and those select few of employees who really just piss me off... which works but leaves something more to be desired. quitting smoking cigarettes and pot in the next week is going to be REAL fucking fun... but necessary for budgetary reasons... ugh... its been one fucking battle after another with money it seems... like im constantly bleeding out of a cut artery into a white cloth that im trying to keep pristine... just not fucking happening... i was in a decent mood til i saw that journal thing... now i just need to scour that image out of my head with a pipe or go beat my head against the wall until i forget... *twitch twitch shudder grimace* people like her just fuel my fucking fire...
yeah people like that just do